Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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