I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
