3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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