All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
