My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
