what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
