I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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