I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
