My underwear smells like fireworks.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
