Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize