So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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