i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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