one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I love you.
Bad choice
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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