five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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