why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
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It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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