Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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