hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is not your playground.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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