i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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