Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
