is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
This is the high leading the old right now
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
