ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
