We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
