I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
