I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize