We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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