Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
