Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
