I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
