She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
