Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
