"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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