The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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