I want to have your abortion
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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