Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
