My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
ok first of all what the fuck
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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