I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
