i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
