I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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