if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
