If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
