ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
