pedialite and red bull = repair kit
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
