is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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