I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
