Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
