Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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