I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
