Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
