i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I came so hard my ears popped.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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