careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
