I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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