I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
lol hangovers are for mortals.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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