she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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