We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
