Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
