i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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