i jhust puked up my retainher.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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