There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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