I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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