Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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