is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she looked like the before picture.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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