we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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