i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
it's like heaven, but drunker
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize